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The episode starts with someone knocking on the door of the Mystery Shack.
Stan Pines (Opens the door with a big smile) Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you? (Takes a snow globe and an U.F.O key chain out of his jacket) Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents? (Pulls a five dollar bill out of his sleeve as he begins to sweat)
Narrator This is Gravity Falls!
Mabel and Dipper crash through the 'Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign with the Mystery Cart, screaming.
Dippy Fresh Flip-a-dip-dip! (Poses)
A massive blue light glows from the inside of the Mystery Shack.
Dipper (Voice-Over:) Gravity Falls has this secret dark side.
Cut to the Stuffed Animal Tree turning into Bill's eyes; Mabel possessed by Ghosts; the Cooler monster; the Manotaurs holding Dipper's eyes open; the Shape Shifter as a mixture of Dipper, Mabel and a bug-creature, Dippy Fresh skateboarding and Mabel smacking Dipper.
Mabel Shut up!
Narrator (Cut to a map of Oregon, which zooms in on Gravity Falls; Dipper and Mabel dodging tranquilizer darts; Dipper, Mabel and Soos running away from a pinball and Dipper and Mabel driving in a golf cart) A small town in Oregon, where preteen twins, Dipper and Mabel Pines... Wait, wait, wait, wait, Time Baby? What are you doing here? (Cut to Time Baby over a crowd of spectators) NOOO!
Time Baby Move out of the way; you're ridiculous. They already know all of this! Don't you? You know about the codes, the ciphers and the clues.
Cut to Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy descending into the bunker; the three Journals laid out on Stan's desk, the tapestry of Bill Cipher in the Northwest Manor; Bill Cipher flashing images; the Stan Pines Dead article; the UFO keychain in front of the floating cliffs; the carving of the upside down angel in the Gravity Falls Museum of History and Mabel in front of the Bottomless pit.
Mabel (Giggles) It's just my personal box of mysterious secrets. (Grunts and pushes the box into the pit) Goodbye forever!
Cut to the Cyclops roaring and Stan in his car with Soos.
Stan (Gets out) Well, this is getting weird.
Time Baby Did you think that's the mystery behind Gravity Falls?
Cut to Dipper and Mabel in the attic; Bill throwing the Interdimensional rift at the ground and to Gideon Gleeful.
Gideon This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend.
Cut to Leaderaur eating an old Manotaur; Mabel punching a gnome that is on Dipper's face and Stan's face melting off.
Time Baby That makes me laugh! And drool a little bit. And maybe I need a new diaper. The point is: there is so much more to Gravity Falls than you ever imagined.
Cut to Rumble McSkirmish yelling; Stan in the basement; Stan looking out from behind the vending machine and to Dipper in front of Ford Pines.
Dipper So, uh, would you mind if I asked you a couple billion questions about Gravity Falls?
Ford Uh...
Cut to .GIFfany talking to Soos; Gideon shining the magic flashlight at a mirror showing Stan and the Time Baby destroying some wreckage.
Time Baby And how do I know? Well, because I'm a MULTIDIMENSIONAL OVERLORD! (In clip:) OHOHOHOHO.
Cut to Stan getting past the government agents while in zero gravity; Jason Ritter and Linda Cardellini dressed as Dipper and Wendy in the weirdness bubble and to Alex Hirsch.
Time Baby (Voice Over:) But I also have access to the other side. I have Alex Hirsch, the creator, trapped in a room! And I will force him to share the INNER WORKINGS of his mind!
Cut to Dipper and Mabel sleeping and to Ford, in 1982, at the door of the Mystery Shack.
Ford Have you come to steal my eyes?! (Aims crossbow)
Cut to Dipper.
Dipper I don't know what to say I have so many questions I- ohhh I think I'm gonna throw up!
Cut to a gnome vomiting; Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy in the bunker; Dipper attempting to punch Bill and a Journal turning its pages.
Time Baby Ahahahaha!
Alex Hirsch I'm never gonna reveal these secrets, guys, you can't make me.
Cut to the Gravity Falls Main Title Theme.
Alex Hirsch Uh, Time Baby... if you're ever being... if Time Baby's ever tryin' to fight you...
Time Baby SILENCE!
Hirsch Just leave the room. He doesn't have object permanence. He'll think you're not there anymore.
Time Baby Quit stalling, Alex! This show isn't about me! Reveal your secrets!
Hirsch Time Baby is a big dumb baby.
Time Baby I am not!
Hirsch What are you gonna do, Time Baby? Huh, you gonna zap me?
Time Baby Enough! (Rewinds)
Hirsch I'd say if you're rewatching the series all over again, pay particular attention to the backgrounds.
Cut to Soos.
Soos Maybe there's nothing creepy goin' on in this room.
Hirsch In Gideon Rises, we see a flashback of the hand of the unknown author writing the journals.
Cut to the author putting a "2" on the cover of a journal.
Hirsch We see a skull, we see a polished desk, but we also see a bit of a rainbow reflection.
Cut to the Soos sweeping up Ford's former room.
Hirsch A really keen-eyed fan might notice that inside the secret room in Carpet Diem, there is a triangular glass prism that's casting a rainbow reflection. It's a subtle way to let you know that that room belonged to the author. I don't think anyone's actually figured that one out yet.
Soos This little shack is full of weird secrets!
Cut to Dipper going over his plan with his clones and Dipper playing Robbie Valentino's record backwards.
Hirsch Dipper is based on my memory of how is felt to be a kid.
Stan (Spit-takes) Holy mackeral!
Hirsch When I was around Dipper's age I would record myself and play it backwards. I tried to learn to speak backwards.
Cut to Dipper playing Dipper's Voice Remix.
Remix D-D-D-D-D-D-Dipper Pines.
Cut to Dipper with Robbie's record.
Dipper I knew it! It's mind control after all!
Hirsch I didn't have a lot of friends.
Time Baby Time Baby is not surprised.
Hirsch Time Baby doesn't know as much as he thinks he knows.
Time Baby I know all there is to know!
Cut to Dipper looking at his reflection.
Hirsch When I was in middle school, I was in a class with a kid who had, no fault of his own, some really unusual acne; every day was a little different.
Cut to Wendy and Dipper in the Mystery Shack hallway.
Wendy Show me! Show me!
Hirsch So I would sort of chart the constellations from my sketchbook and I remember one day he has a perfect Big Dipper, the exact dots right on his forehead.
Cut to Dipper showing Wendy his birthmark.
Wendy That's how you got your nickname! I thought your parents just hated you or something.
Time Baby Reveal his first name!
Hirsch I can't say it.
Cut to Candy Chiu.
Candy It begins with a "D" and ends with an "ipper."
Cut to Dipper introducing himself to a girl.
Dipper My name is Dopper.
Cut to Quentin Trembley addressing Dipper.
Trembley And Roderick-
Dipper Uh, actually-
Trembley You, dear boy...
Time Baby Confirm!
Hirsch Uh, no.
Time Baby NOW!
Hirsch I think Time Baby needs a nap.
Time Baby Your face needs a nap!
Hirsch Dipper and Mabel's first names have a similarity, but I will not tell you what that similarity is.
Cut to Dipper and Mabel in front of the statue of Nathaniel Northwest.
Dipper Mystery twins?
Mabel I thought you hated that.
Dipper I'm startin' to accept it.
Time Baby Uh, fine, let's move on to Mabel.
Cut to Mabel putting earrings on.
Mabel Beep bop!
Cut to Mabel with a karaoke book.
Mabel Boop!
Cut to Mabel poking Dipper with a stick; neighing at the knight pieces from a chess game; squeezing her face; blowing a raspberry and standing behind Dipper.
Time Baby She is a simple creature with nothing to hide.
Mabel Quack quack quaaacckk!
Cut to Mabel eating Smile Dip and groaning.
Dipper Mabel?
Cut to Mabel bouncing on her bed; knitting a sweater in front of the TV; putting a sweater on Waddles and tackling Soos.
Hirsch Every time she's not on camera in an episode she's off knitting the next week's sweaters.
Mabel (Sitting on Soos and punching him excitedly) AAAH! HA HA HA SOOS!
Hirsch Mabel is inspired by my twin sister, specifically the way she acted in elementary school.
Cut to Mabel watching a TV showing Ariel Hirsch on a home video and to Mabel in second grade with slap bracelets on.
Mabel Boom! A million slap bracelets!
Cut to Soos measuring Dipper and Mabel's heights.
Hirsch In I think sixth grade, it finally happened where, like, my sister grew taller than me.
Soos She's got exactly one millimeter on you
Hirsch The next year, I just, like, doubled in height.
Cut to Mabel, Dipper and Soos in the Mystery Shack.
Mabel Alpha twin! Alpha twin!
Hirsch I am the alpha twin now, if you ask me.
Cut to Dipper, Mabel, Stan and Soos at the Gravity Falls Pool.
Mabel Ah, the pool! Sparkling oasis of summer enchantment.
Stan Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's like the bus, but wet.
Hirsch Grunkle Stan is based on my grandpa, Stan.
Time Baby Stan certainly has secrets.
Cut to Mabel viewing Stan's memory of him playing with his stomach.
Mabel Sweet Sally!
Time Baby Share them.
Cut to Robbie leaving the Mystery Shack.
Robbie Catch you on the rewind.
Cut to Dipper, Mabel and Stan watching fireworks; Dipper, Mabel and Stan counterfeiting; them at the table and riding in the car.
Hirsch If you're rewatching the series, watch closely how Stan talks about family.
Stan Today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now, who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?
Dipper and Mabel Yay!
Hirsch Thinks about family.
Cut to Stan hugging Mabel in Dipper's body.
Stan Shh. You had me at "shut up, old man."
Hirsch And it will make a lot more sense; you'll notice that some of the puzzle pieces have fit together.
Cut to Stan and the twins in the gift shop.
Stan Don't worry about what's in the basement. You belong up here with me and Mabel.
Mabel Yeah!
Hirsch Now that we know Grunkle Stan has a twin brother, when you watch an episode like Headhunters...
Cut to Stan with his wax statue.
Stan You need anything? Ha ha. I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere!
Cut to Stan crying at Wax Stan's funeral.
Hirsch You see how distraught he is that wax double of him gets destroyed. You might understand the psychology there a little but better.
Cut to Dipper and Mabel brushing their teeth.
Stan NOOOOO! Wax Stan! He's been m-m-murdered!
Time Baby Interesting, but we must continue forward!
Cut to the Mystery Fair being rewound and to Dipper and Mabel.
Mabel Don't you wanna learn some Soos secrets?
Hirsch Soos is definitely one of my favorite characters to voice.
Cut to Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Candy and Grenda watching TV and eating candy.
Soos I ate a man alive tonight.
Hirsch One of our writers, Jeff, he kind of speaks in weird, made-up hip-hop terms.
Cut to the unveiling of Wax Stan. Soos presses the Beeblyboop.
Beeblyboop Yeayah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeayah!
Hirsch And Soos starts saying those kinds of things.
Cut to Soos being a DJ at the Mystery Shack party and to Dipper and Soos with Dippy Fresh.
Dipper YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, DIPPY FRESH!
Soos Dippy Fresh didn't do anything to you, dawg.
Cut to Soos dislodging Mabel's braces from the screen door.
Soos Say "aw," girl dude.
Cut to Soos on the S.S. Cool Dude talking to Dipper and Mabel.
Soos Wassup, Hambone? (fistbumps Mabel and makes explosion noises)
Time Baby Explain where this "Soos" came from.
Hirsch Soos was inspired by someone I went to college with, this guy, Jesús Chambrot.
Cut to Soos on his couch.
Soos I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video games, having a sort of moustache.
Hirsch He was kind of a mystery, but he was always in the computer lab and he always wanted to help you.
Cut to Soos in a black robe.
Soos Handyman of the apocalypse, at your service.
Hirsch He would see you, and he would be like (Soos voice:) "Hey, dude, hey, dude, you need help with the printer?" (Normal voice:) You'd be like "No, I'm good," he's be like (Soos voice:) "No, I'm gonna help you fix the printer."
Cut to Soos taking the back off of an arcade game.
Soos I should have thought of this years ago!
Hirsch "Oh, whoops, I broke the printer. You want some help fixing the printer that I just broke?"
Unnamed red cap man Ah!
Soos (Inside the arcade machine) Help, I'm trapped in the game!
Hirsch He was always causing and solving problems.
Cut to Dipper and Mabel on the S.S Cool Dude.
Dipper Don't lose your cameras.
Soos Wait, lose the cameras?
Dipper Don't!
Soos Dude, I just threw two away.
Hirsch But it always came from the most sincere place.
Cut to Soos in the attic.
Soos My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse.
Cut to Wendy on lifeguard duty.
Wendy I make the rules, sucker! (Throws a water balloon at Stan)
Hirsch Every poured the coolest person they knew into a pot and Wendy was born.
Cut to Wendy hitting the lever to the bunker with her ax.
Wendy Boosh.
Cut to Wendy, Dipper and Mabel on the roof.
Dipper Did you put all the stuff up here?
Wendy I may or may not sneak up here from work, all the time, every day.
Cut to Dipper and Wendy watching Nearly Almost Dead But Not Quite!; Wendy using a piece of metal to shield herself from the Shape Shifter's tongue; running away with Gideon and Wendy and Dipper in a car.
Dipper Wendy, you're the coolest person I know.
Wendy I know, dude. Tell me about it later.
Time Baby Alex, what about the other characters? Commencing lightning round! You have sixty seconds. (Timer begins from one minute)
Hirsch Lazy Susan: she used to have two functioning eyes until a science experiment zapped one of them.
Cut to Lazy Susan being zapped by one of Ford's machines.
Lazy Susan Ah! My eye!
Cut to Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland spitting coffee at each other.
Hirsch I don't think the guy I named Deputy Durland after knows there's a cartoon show with his name in it; hopefully he never finds out. Sorry, Durland, if you ever discover this.
Cut to Toby Determined in filthy clothes in an alley and at the grand unveiling of Wax Stan.
Hirsch Toby Determined is days away from giving up on everything.
Stan Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby.
Toby It certainly i-
Stan Next question.
Hirsch Time Baby is easily distracted by dangling keys. Little weakness.
Time Baby No, I'm not.
Cut to various shots of Preston and Priscilla Northwest.
Hirsch Preston owns a mudflap factory and his wife was Miss Mudlflap 85 or whatever and he just decided "Oh, she is gorgeous."
Preston Tonight, we will enjoy only the finest tastes and only the snootiest of laughter.
Man Oh ho, oh huh, uh huh huh huh.
The Northwest servants applaud.
Preston That's the ticket.
Cut to Pacifica Northwest with her parents at Ye Royal Discount Putt Hutt.
Hirsch So, Pacifica is secretly of mudflap blood.
Cut to Pacifica at the door of the Mystery Shack.
Pacifica I need your help.
Dipper You're the worst. (Slams door)
Time Baby Lightning round complete!
Hirsch Gideon: Gideon's a villian.
Cut to Gideon walking by Mrs. Gleeful.
Gideon Mother.
Hirsch There was a lot of brainstorming about what he might be like in particular, what his design was and what was going on with his hair.
Cut to Gideon on stage at one of his performances; standing in front of the Gideon-bot being constructed; clapping as doves fly out of his hair and on the Mystery Shack porch with a gummy koala in his hair.
Gideon One of those infernal gummy koalas has gotten into my perfect hair!
Cut to Gideon standing in front of a model of Gideonland; in front of journals 1 and 3 and walking away from Dipper and Mabel in his room.
Hirsch We gave him big hair with the thought that maybe there may be a malformed second twin that Gideon hid with his hair that maybe Gideon had a twin as well.
Cut to Deputy Durland pushing Gideon into the police car.
Gideon NO! Watch the hair!
Hirsch I don't think there is anymore. (Laughs)
Cut to Bill Cipher in front of Gideon; as a multilevel black pyramid and to Bill's entry in Journal 3.
Bill Cipher Reality is an allusion the universe is a hologram buy gold BYEE!
Time Baby He is a danger to our universe! His name must NOT be mentioned, Alex!
Hirsch Bill...
Time Baby Seriously?
Hirsch When we came up with him was one hundred percent inspired by the idea: what if I took the triangle from the back of the dollar bill, dressed him up with a top hat and stupid little arms and legs and named him Bill, after the dollar.
Cut to the triangle from the back of the dollar bill with an outline of Bill drawn around and to Bill in front of the statue of Nathaniel Northwest.
Bill But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity! (Burns the statue with a laser from his eye)
Cut to Bill getting angry at Mabel and Soos and to him building the Fearamid.
Hirsch He actually was originally going to be green, but an artist said, "No, he looks kinda weird; he looks like a leaf." So we made him yellow...
Time Baby And now he looks like a nacho. Huhuhuhhahaha!
Cut to Dipper as a ghost flying through the floors of the Mystery Shack where the government's recorder is circled; a frame of The Legend of the Gobblewonker which is zoomed into Stan's license plate; Stan sleeping with The Plot Twist highlighted; Dipper and Mabel standing outside of the kitchen and the camera zooming in on Mabel's sweater; a shadow falling over the floating cliffs and the Mystery Shack; the Gideon-bot jumping down at Dipper and Mabel; Gideon looking at the town with Journals 1 and 2 and to Gideon's robot carrying Mabel.
Hirsch There's a lot of things like that where a simple design actually has a greater significance. In the episode, "Dreamscaperers", Mabel is wearing a sunset sweater; that is meant to symbolize the descent from our storytelling from a brighter story to a darker story. And we set up the two-parter with Gideon's takeover of the town.
Gideon Once I find the final journal I'll rule this town, with you as my queen. Ahahaha!
Cut to Bill entering Stan's mind; Dipper, Mabel and Soos entering Stan's mind; Mabel popping the Prison Bubble and to Bill appearing to Gideon.
Hirsch In the original plot for "Dreamscaperers," we imagined that Bill was going to enter all the characters' dreams and we were going to see inside Soos' mind and we were going to see inside Mabel's mind. We simplified the story to Stan's mind, but a lot of the ideas for Mabeland came from that alternate idea. Also in the episode we introduced Bill for the first time.
Bill Oh, Gravity Falls, it is good to be back, and I take you're some kind of living ventriloquist dummy?
Hirsch Bill's a real bad guy.
Cut to Bill rearranging the orifices on Preston Northwest's face and to Tad Strange.
Tad Oh, snap.
Cut to The Duchess Approves' opening credits.
Hirsch We now return to "The Duchess Approves," starring Sturley Stemblebergiss as "The Duchess," and Grampton St. Rumperfrabble as irascible coxswain Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire.
Hirsch and Time Baby (Say nothing for several seconds)
Time Baby Forget it. I'm using a Time wish. (Fast forwards through time)
Hirsch Uh, I always thought that, if I was to make a TV show show, how great would it be if I made it full of all those crazy backwards messages and secret codes and puzzles that, if there was any kid out there as weird as me, they would actually find the thing they were looking for. Fans are a million times smarter than I am. (Laughs) I have learned that the hard way. And so in Season 2, we said, yes, let's up the ante, let's have a code that's harder to crack.
Cut to some statues of people's heads in the Summerween Superstore that are circled with the caption "Storyboard artists and writers"; a tree outside of the Corduroy house with "R + W" carved into it; Stan driving past a sign that says "NOW LEAVING NEW JERSEY" with a pine tree outline next to it; the Northwest Cover-up document with the phrase "evil, time-devouring baby" highlighted; Stan reading a newspaper with the headline "UFO WAS A SHAM!"; the Northwest Manor and to Bill, while in Dipper's body, looking in the mirror.
Bill (Slaps himself) WHOO! (Slaps himself) WHOO! Haha!
The camera zooms into the word "CIPHER" in the mirror and to two Blind Eye Society members walking down the hall.
Hirsch Let's have a code word that is hidden.
Man Probably just the janitor kissing that wax settler woman again.
Man 2 Whoo! Remind me to erase that from my memory.
The word "ERASE," seen on a skeleton's spine, is highlighted; cut to screens all over the Future city showing Dipper and Mabel laughing and hitting each other with plastic baseball bats; camera zooms in to the word "CAPACITOR" on one of the screens.
Lolph So be it.
Cut to the underground bunker with the word "SHIFTER," highlighted on a barrel; Dipper and Mabel crowdsurfing and to the Love God chasing Dipper and Mabel, with the letters of the keyword placed into a box as they run by them.
Hirsch Probably the best hidden one we ever had was in the episode, "The Love God." Dipper and Mabel are running through a crowded festival and the letters are spaced out in the background. They're so spread out, I didn't think anyone would be able to find 'em. Sure enough, ten minutes after the episode aired, somebody had cracked it.
Time Baby It only took me fifteen seconds.
Cut to the end pages of every episode except the last and then to the end pages arranged into a picture with two pages missing.
Hirsch The other thing we did this season that we didn't do in Season 1 is, at the very end of the episode there's a flash, and you see a single frame of one larger puzzle, and that was all leading up to the big reveal of Stan's twin brother.
Cut to Dipper, Grenda, Mabel, Soos and Stan watching Duck-tective.
Mabel That's the big twist we were waiting for?
Grenda What a rip-off!
Soos I predicted that, like, a year ago.
Hirsch There's a lot of things in the show that, you can't help it, they just slip in.
Cut to Stan in the underground lab.
Stan (Puts on a six-fingered glove) I've come this far. Who could possibly catch me now? (Pulls the lever; puts his hands up excitedly and yelps as a pipe flies by and hits him; wraps his hand in a bandage)
Hirsch In, uh, Society of the Blind Eye, Stan is working on the portal and a piece of debris bangs his hand and we see him bandaging his hand up. And then in the next few episodes, he still has that bandage on his hand.
Cut to Stan looking at a journal page; talking to Soos; watching the Stan balloon rise; marking his fingerprints for the government and to him in the yard.
Stan Folk music! It's the Woodstick festival!
Cut to Dipper and Mabel rising out of their beds as gravity stops; the portal glowing while Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Stan lift off the ground; outside as gravity stops; Wax Sherlock Holmes trying to stab Dipper and causing the "S" in the Mystery Shack's sign to fall; a shot of the Mystery Shack with no "S" in "SHACK" and to Dipper in the attic with the crystal flashlight.
Hirsch It took a while before we got to the big answer about what the portal was. Stan's bandage on his hand was a way to show: don't worry, it's still happening, we haven't forgotten these stories are connected. There's a lot of things like that, where something will change and stay changed for the rest of the series.
Dipper Bigger! (Makes a pawn grow until is goes through the ceiling) Too big!
Cut to Mabel in the attic with Dipper.
Mabel This is some kind of magicky thing, isn't it?
Cut to Dipper in Soos' car with Soos.
Dipper (Holding a tooth) Soos! Look!
Soos A real dinosaur tooth?
Cut to a shot from "Society of the Blind Eye." Dipper is in the attic with the camera zoomed into the tooth hanging over his bed.
Dipper There's something huge going on right under our noses.
Cut to a shot from Dipper vs. Manliness: Tyler Cutebiker in the gift shop with a puma shirt and a panther shirt.
Tyler Puma shirt... panther shirt... puma shirt...panther shirt.
Cut to a shot from Scary-oke: Tyler is walking into the Mystery Shack with a shirt that is a combination of the puma and panther shirts.
Tyler Haha! Tambry sends me the craziest texts!
Hirsch Each audience member gets to be Dipper, and have a mystery to uncover.
Cut to Dipper and Mabel standing over the decapitated body of Wax Stan.
Dipper (Flipping through Journal 3) In this town, anything is possible.
Hirsch In "Not What He Seems", Mabel's wearing a key.
Cut to Mabel in the yard.
Mabel Our Grunkle Stan might shoplift the occasional tangerine but he's not some evil supervillain!
Cut to a newspaper article identifying Stan as an "unnamed grifter"; the government agents arresting Stan and to Stan escaping the police station in zero gravity.
Cut to Mabel pulling herself along a wire to the portal's deactivation button.
Hirsch This is because Mabel herself is ultimately the key to unlocking the portal.
Stan Look into my eyes, Mabel! You really think I'm a bad guy?
Dipper He's lying! SHUT IT DOWN NOW!
Stan Mabel, please!
Portal voice Ten, nine...
Time Baby It's time for "Wheel of Secrets!"
Cut to "Norman" with jam on his face; the gnomes asking Mabel to be their queen; Jeff bathing in squirrels
Hirsch That red stuff on Norman's mouth: is it blood, or is it jam? It really is jam. The gnomes recently has their gnome queen die, and as part of their funeral ceremony they were all eating bereavement jam.
Jeff This is normal.
Cut to the Multi-Bear in his cave.
Hirsch Originally, the Multi-Bear was going to be called the "Bear Bear," and we specifically wanted a line where Dipper could say, "There, there, Bear Bear."
Dipper Oh, that's a Multi-Bear.
Cut to Blendin Blandin time-traveling and catching on fire.
Hirsch We have a reason that Blendin is bald. When he time travels, oftentimes, he does it poorly, and catches on fire. He has to slap himself and it's like
Hirsch and Blendin Uh, pat, pat down.
Hirsch He's burned off all his hair from botched time-traveling.
Blendin I-I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or if I'm just really tired...
Cut to McGucket dancing at the lake; laughing maniacally in front of a newspaper article about one of his robots and to him dancing on a car in the junkyard.
Hirsch We ended up writing a song for McGucket, where he sings about the Gobblewonker and how it's real and how it's gonna get ya, and then learned two things: one, the song was too long, two, McGucket's a terrible singer.
McGucket That's probably why I live in the dump! (Dances)
Cut to Footbot dancing in Stan's story; Stan standing in front of his and Ford's science fair projects and to Stan laughing with Footbot, an unnamed beautiful woman and a bunch of football players.
Hirsch In "A Tale of Two Stans," you see that Stan's science fair project that failed in high school was a football robot called "Footbot." This is apparently a dream he has had for a very long time and it's a very dumb dream.
Time Baby You didn't win anything.
Hirsch One secret about the show that not a lot of people know is that some names of incidental characters or side characters that don't really matter in the show...
Cut to Gabe Bensen doing a puppet show.
Gabe Hey, I'm Gabe Bensen, y'all.
Cut to Lee and Nate standing in the yard.
Wendy (Offscreen) This is Lee and Nate.
Nate (Punches Lee)
Lee Ah! Hahaha!
Hirsch A number of them are based on boys my sister had a crush on in middle school and elementary school.
Cut to Bill, Mabel, Soos, Xyler and Craz in Stan's mindscape.
Xyler Awesome comeback, Mabel!
Mabel Don't treat me like a child, Xyler.
Hirsch She called me up and she's like, "What is that guy's name doing in there?" and I was like, "Don't worry, I won't tell anybody," so, please don't tell anybody.
Cut to Sev'ral Timez's music video.
Creggy G. (Singing:) Ohhhhh, girl you got me ackin' so cray-cray!
Chubby Z. Cray-cray!
Deep Chris You tell me that you won't be my
Deep Chris and Creggy G. Bay-bay!
Cut to a Sev'ral Timez poster and to Sev'ral Timez riding by Dipper on a bike.
Hirsch My sister loved, not just one boy-band, not just two boy-bands, but every boy-band that was a rip-off of the other boy band.
Creggy G. Hey, Dipper!
Greggy C. Hey, Dipper!
Leggy P. Hey, Dipper!
Chubby Z. Hey, Dipper!
Deep Chris Hey, Dipper!
Cut to Mabel, Candy and Grenda in the attic and to Sev'ral Timez in the attic.
Hirsch And she had a poster for all of them on her wall.
Creggy G. Whoa, is that true, Mabel dawg?
Hirsch How is there enough room in your heart to be obsessed with this many boy bands?
Cut to a kid at a Sev'ral Times concert.
Pacifica's friend I LOVE YOU, DEEP CHRIS!
Pacifica's friend 2 He was talking to me! (Hits her with a chair and they fight)
An arrow points to friend 2 with the words "Ariel Hirsch's voice."
Hirsch A lot of the show is us making fun of each other, or our friends or our siblings.
Cut to Stan walking into the gift shop.
Stan Show me the object of ridicule!
Cut to Mabel's Smile Dip hallucinations.
Hirsch When Mabel's on the Smile Dip and she's on this crazy sugar trip...
Flavor Pup Would you like to eat my candy paws?
Mabel (Chewing on the paw) Omnomnomnomnom. (Cut to real life, where she is chewing on nothing)
Hirsch When she's riding this dolphin, she says:
Mabel (Riding Aoshima) ONWARDS, AOSHIMA!
Hirsch Now I go to ComicCon, and a hundred kids chant, "ONWARDS AOSHIMA" to me, having no idea that that's just the name of our director, John Aoshima.
Cut to Aoshima growing two extra arms and four extra faces, which spit rainbows with car alarms, causing it to speed up. Cut to Mermando in the pool.
Mermando Hahahaha! I am charmed by your sense of humor.
Hirsch Mermando is voiced by Matt Chapman, one of our writers, who does many voices on the show; he does many of the members of Sev'ral Times...
Cut to a Sev'ral Times clone gestating and dancing in a tube and to Chubby Z. in a cage, talking to Candy, Grenda and Mabel.
Chubby Z. But he keeps us in cages! That junk is straight brutal, girl!
Hirsch He is the Austrian prince.
Cut to Marius talking to Grenda.
Marius There is something about you... I can't get you out of my head... you're so bold and confident.
Hirsch And he is Abuelita.
Cut to Mabel's grappling hook hitting a jar of jelly, causing it to shatter and spill jelly all over the wall and floor.
Abuelita I vacuum de walls now. (Vacuums the walls)
Cut to Shandra Jimenez at the grand unveling of Wax Stan.
Shandra Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter.
Hirsch One thing I can tell you about Shandra is that her name is inspired by one of our background artists, Sean Jimenez.
Cut to a TV among the wreckage of Weirdmageddon showing Jimenez on the news.
Shandra I'm Shandra Jimenez, and I ate a rat for dinner.
Hirsch Something that not everyone might now about Agent Powers is that he is voiced by Nick Offerman.
Cut to Agent Powers and Agent Trigger in the Mystery Shack gift shop.
Powers If you have evidence of these claims, we should talk. (Gives Dipper a card)
Hirsch Who is a hilarious comedian.
Cut to Agents Powers and Trigger in the yard.
Powers I was born with a rare disorder that makes me physically incapable of experiencing humor.
Cut to Powers and Trigger in the yard with Dipper, Powers holding Journal 3.
Trigger I can confirm: not funny.
Hirsch Something people might not know about Agent Trigger: his sort of cheek bones and chin, were kinda modeled after one of our writers, Jeff Rowe, who is the most attractive man in our writer's room.
Cut to Powers and Trigger in the yard.
Trigger We survived. Barely.
Powers I used Trigger as a human shield.
Cut to clips in various episodes with Powers and Trigger highlighted in the background.
Time Baby And in case you didn't notice, they've been watching the twins the whole time. What about the Lamby Dance, Alex? That was you, wasn't it?
Cut to Dipper.
Dipper Now is not the time to talk about the Lamby Dance.
Hirsch One of our writers, Michael Rianda, his sister, when he was a child, dressed him up as a lamb and made him do a dance. A lot of people think that was me...
Cut to Mabel holding a photo of Dipper as a small child in a lamb costume and to Dipper in the present singing the song.
Dipper (Singing:) Wellll, who wants a lamby lamby lamby? I do! I do!... forget about the ba-by!
Hirsch Fortunately, it was not. That specifically comes from his traumatic childhood memory.
Cut to a writer jumping over a cardboard cutout of Gideon; a monster truck running into Hirsch, who is lying down, and to Stan sewing a taxidermy of a yeti with a rainbow wig.
Hirsch Um, so it's like, all of the writers have a secret sort of personality trait that sneaks into the show.
Stan (Singing:) Puttin' a Rainbow Wig on a Big White Gorilla
Cut to Stan, Soos, the twins and Pacifica in the car.
Stan (Singing:) Singing the Driving Song. Headlights are out. Can't really see where we're going.
Hirsch That's just something I do. Like if I'm looking for my keys, I'll just be like (Stan voice:) Where are my keys? Losing my mind, where'd they go?
Cut to Soos leaving the Mystery Shack.
Soos (Singing:) Doo do do do do. Walking to my car.
Time Baby Time is running out, Alex. TELL THEM MORE!
Cut to a crowd at the Pioneer Day commencement ceremony.
Crowd USA! USA!
America guy (Crying) USA! USA!
Hirsch Chanting I think would happen a lot in the writers' room.
Cut to Candy, Grenda, Dipper and Mabel on the streets in their Summerween costumes.
Candy, Grenda and Mabel Over with! Over with!
Cut to Candy, Grenda and Mabel in the attic.
Grenda Beautiful! Beautiful!
Cut to Candy, Grenda and Mabel chanting in the living room.
Hirsch Michael Rianda, if it would be lunch time, he would do "Lunch time! Lunch time!"
Cut to Dipper, Mabel and Soos in the kitchen.
Mabel (To Soos:) Lick it! Lick it!
Hirsch I think he did the first chant that ever appeared in the episode, which is all the teens going
Hirsch and Wendy, Lee, Nate, Tambry and Robbie Thompson! Thompson!
Hirsch It's just an obnoxious thing to do, and once you get used to it, you can't stop.
Cut to some Manotaurs in the Man Cave.
Manotaurs Man! Man! Man!
Cut to the pictures in the theme song with the picture of Hirsch's chin circled; the pictures on Dipper's list of suspects as to who wrote the journals with the picture of Hirsch circled; a magazine in Stan's childhood room with Hirsch's face on the cover circled; Hirsch in a gondola at Mystery Mountain; Hirsch standing near Stan and Goldie in Las Vegas and to Hirsch juggling on a unicycle on a TV.
Hirsch There's plenty of little cameos of mine in the show where my face will show up. People assume that's like me, like "Oh, ha ha, get this," little ego boost. The crew likes to make fun of me. (Laughs) And whenever they put my face in the show that's their way of doing it.
Cut to Mabel writing a letter in the living room.
Mabel "Dear Mom and Dad, we've been in Gravity Falls for a few months and so much has happened."
Cut to a picture of Dipper and Mabel fishing; Dipper and Mabel exploring the Abandoned mines; Dipper and Mabel rappelling down Gideon's desk; Dipper holding a lantern up the a map Mabel has folded into a hat and to Dipper, Mabel and Soos walking into mist.
Hirsch Ultamitely, Gravity Falls isn't just about coded and easter eggs; it's about characters.
Cut to Soos in his pick-up truck talking to Dipper.
Soos You need an amiable sidekick with a pick-up truck?
Dipper You know I do.
Cut to Dipper, Mabel and Soos at Big Gunz Laser Tag.
Soos I know who my family is now, and it's you dudes.
Cut to Dipper and Mabel on the roof.
Mabel Somebody's in loooove!
Cut to Dipper standing over the Shape Shifter, which is disguised as Wendy, in the Bunker.
Dipper (Crying) I never even got to tell you I'm like... in love with you, Wendy.
Cut to Wendy and Dipper sitting together.
Wendy I always... kinda knew.
Cut to Stan in the underground lab.
Stan Everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family.
Cut to Stan and Ford Pines in the 60s on Glass Shard Beach.
Stan One of these days, you and me are gonna sail away from this dumb town.
Cut to Ford and Stan in the Mystery Shack in the present.
Ford When the summer's over, you give me my house back, you give me my name back, and this "Mystery Shack" junk is over forever.
Cut to Dipper and Mabel in the Summerween Superstore.
Mabel I guess I didn't realize it was already our last one.
Cut to Dipper and Mabel in the attic.
Dipper Look, things aren't gonna stay frozen this way. It's part of growing up. Things change. Summer ends.
Cut to Dipper and Wendy on a roof.
Wendy This summer, I've seen some amazing things, but nothing as amazing as you and your sister.
Cut to Mabel at Ye Royal Discount Putt Hutt; Dipper at the Dusk 2 Dawn; Dipper cutting the ropes with which the gnomes were holding down Mabel; Dipper jumping and pushing Mabel out of the way of a tree the Gobblewonker pushed down; Dipper at the top of a tree and to Dipper, Mabel and the Gideon-bot falling off of the floating cliffs.
Mabel AAAAAAAAAA!!
Soos Dudes! NOO!!
Cut to The Undead walking towards Dipper and Mabel; Leadaurar breathing fire; Dipper and Mabel being sucked into the pinball machine's mouth; Rumble McSkirmish screaming at Dipper and to Mabel standing on a rock while Mermando jumps over her.
Mabel Yes!
Cut to the Smarticle Accelerator turning on; Bill preparing to attack Mabel and Soos; the Stan balloon descending on Charlie and his mother; Ford taking Journal 1 and to Ford being sucked into the portal.
Stan Oh, no, what do I do?!
Ford Stanley! Stanley! Do something! STANLEEEYY!! (Throws the journal at Stan and disappears)
Stan STANFORD!
Cut to Dipper writing in Journal 3.
Dipper This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust, but when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back.
Cut to Dipper and Mabel high-fiving; Mabel lowering herself and Dipper from the cliffs with her grappling hook; Mabel firing Jeff at the gnomes; Mabel floating in front of the portal as it is about to open; Mabel grabbing a stuffed animal with her grappling hook and to Mabel and Bill in Dipper's body at the Theatre Time Theater.
Bill I mean, who would sacrifice everything they've worked for just for their dumb sibling?
Cut to the Gideon-bot holding Dipper and Mabel; Stan arriving at Ford's house in 1982 and to Stan and Ford walking into a cave in the 60s.
Stan Don't worry, bro. Wherever we go, we go together.
Cut to Stan and Ford laughing in the present and to Dipper and Mabel in court in the prison bubble.
Dipper I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but whatever it is, you don't have to fear because we'll do it together.
Cut to Bill smashing something; Mabel turning on her light bulb sweater; Stan fighting zombies and to Bill laughing as people run in terror.
Shandra (Offscreen) Is there no one who will save the people of this town?
Dipper Let's beat Bill and grow up together!
Cut to the flyer for Dipper and Mabel's birthday party rustling in the wind; Ford emerging from the portal and to Mabel, Dipper, Soos and Wendy riding Waddles out of Mabeland.
Mabel All right, guys, are you ready for this? (Picks up a knitting needle) Sorry, Mabeland, it's time to burst your BUBBLE!
Cut to Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy preparing to be attacked at the Mystery Shack's porch.
Soos Let's get 'em, dudes.
Dipper (Kicks open the door)
Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy AAAHHHH!!
Cut to a wheel with Bill cipher in the middle; the pages of a journal being flipped to to a "TAKE BACK THE FALLS" flag.
Time Baby And the biggest secrets are yet to be revealed.
Cut to Tyler Cutebiker at a podium.
Tyler Get it. Get it. Get itttt.
Cut to Tyler in a crowd.
Tyler Get it. Get it.
Cut to Tyler at the wreckage of the Gideon-bot.
Tyler (Crying) Get 'em. Get 'em.
Cut to Tyler holding a bouquet.
Tyler Got it.
Hirsch You guys aren't actually gonna put this on TV, are you? Alright I'm done here. (Leaves)
Cut to one of the Northwests' party guests.
Guest Oh ho. Ah ha. Ah ha ha ha.

Template:Transcripts

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