Template:Object The Northwest Cover-up is an American government conspiracy. It is a document containing classified information that Quentin Trembley was the 8½ president of the United States of America and the true founder of Gravity Falls, Oregon, among other strange secrets. It was revealed in "Irrational Treasure."
Let it here be recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, famous in his native Gravity Falls for standing in the park and hitting himself with a large boating oar until he blacked out, was chosen to become the patsy mayor of Gravity Falls. Northwest spoke in a series of grunts and screams and often yelled his trademark phrase: "I am going to eat this entire oak tree because I am a powerful wizard!"
The fabled founder of Gravity Falls was, in fact, a fraud. His last moments on Earth were spent choking on a giant piece of bark, attempting to live out his beautiful dream. He was hated by everyone that knew him. He will not be missed.
Thomas Jefferson was actually just two kids in an overcoat standing on each other's shoulders. The current and forever President of the United States is actually Santa Claus. Under the reign of Mr. Claus, America is not a democracy, but a jollyocracy. The statues at Mount Rushmore are actually gigantic presidential-faced robots that will be called into action when America needs them the most. An enormous, evil, time-traveling baby from another dimension is frozen in an Atlantic glacier. Fortunately, glaciers never melt, so we should be fine. Writing jokes for cartoons is more important than sleep. If you recite the pledge of allegiance backwards, you'll gain secret wizard powers! (This one is true, kids! Try it at home!)
The true founder of Gravity Falls was: Sir Lord Quentin Trembley III, Esq.
- The mentioned "time-traveling baby" is Time Baby, who appears in later episodes.
- At one point, the text in the document is altered.