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Opens to a squirrel scampering before being eaten by a mailbox.
Sprott End times are here, folks. Only way to salvation is to embrace the triangular ways of our overlord. Any object with more than three sides is sinful. (Manly Dan holds up a triangular section of a stop sign) That's it. That's probably what Bill wants.
An Eye-Bat comes and Manly Dan screams as he is turned to stone.
Sprott I reckon I've been livin' a lie. (Screams as he is turned to stone and then carried away by another Eye-Bat)
Cut to the fearamid. Bill Cipher taps a fork on Ford Pines.
Bill Ladies, gentlemen, that creature with like 87 different faces.
Creature with 88 different faces 88 different faces!
Bill Whoa-ho, sorry - touchy subject. Anyways, it's been fun turning Gravity Falls inside out, rounding up all its terrified citizens and then stacking them into this massive throne of frozen human agony(the last word echoes). (Sits on the throne) Don't worry, they're not conscious anymore. Probably.
Lazy Susan (Unfreezes) Uh, my omelettes. They-- they have friendly faces.
Bill Whoops. Hehe, back, back you go there. (Pats Lazy Susan back into place until she turns back into stone) But Gravity Falls is just the beginning. It's time to take our chaos worldwide! Alright boys, to the corners of the Earth. Set the world aflame with your weirdness. This dimension is ours! (Bill's friends come out of the Fearamid) Ah, global domination. I could get used to-- (the demons hit an invisible shield and fall down) WHAT?! (Goes to the shield and pokes it; the shot pans out to show that the whole town is surrounded by an invisible force shield, containing the rift and Bill's chaos) Hmm, this might be more complicated than I thought.
Paci-Fire I think I broke something.
Bill Walk it off!
Cut to the shortened Weirdmaggedon theme song. Scene opens on the Prison Bubble and zooms in, showing Dipper Pines, Soos Ramirez and Wendy Corduroy inside the bubble.
Dipper Mabel! Mabel! Okay guys, Bill has taken over the town and if his weirdness spreads he's gonna take over the whole world. Our first step to stopping him is rescuing Mabel, but he's got her trapped in this strange prison bubble.
Wendy What is this place anyway?
The ground starts cracking with rainbow-colored fractures; Soos, Dipper and Wendy scream as they fall.
Soos Guys, if I die, I wanna die hugging. (Grabs Dipper and Wendy in a hug)
Dipper Soos, you're choking me.
Soos Let my body be your shield!
Continued screaming until the three land on a bouncy-house.
Dipper Huh? Is the entire ground a bouncy castle?
Wendy Do you hear 80's music?
Soos And does the air smell like childlike wonder?
Dipper, Wendy and Soos (Look out at Mabeland) Whoa.
Dipper This is Mabel's prison?
Unnamed boy in green (Holding up Mabel's letter with every box checked) Yes. Definitely. Absolutely.
Announcer It's fun-o'clock everyone. Today's weather calls for rainbows with a chance of dance parties. If you are the owner of a unicorn with a top hat, please come to the ice cream beach. Your unicorn is being towed.
Soos What is this new world? Shining, shimmering, splendid.
A pineapple runs screaming as Xyler and Craz drive up and almost run it over.
Craz Welcome to Mabeland.
Dipper And this is worse than the apocalypse.
Wendy Dude, this place hurts my eyes.
Xyler Oh that's normal. Mabeland's rainbows have colors only bees and art students can see. Now who wants to go on the grand tour?
Dipper Do we have a choice?
Xyler and Craz No!
They begin driving with Dipper, Soos and Wendy in the car.
Xyler Mabeland is the ultimate paradise and the only rule: there are no rules.
Craz Except for one rule which is very serious. But no one would ever break it, so it's not worth mentioning.
Xyler and Craz Yeah!
Dipper Listen creepy dream guys, we're not here to party, okay? We just need to find Mabel and get her out of here. Where is she?
Craz Our home girl Mabel lives at our next stop. (The car crashes through a building and skids through the street)
Xyler No rules!
They arrive at a beach.
Xyler Now, come have rad snacks served by awesome penguins.
Penguins walk up with trays full of food and drinks.
Wendy (Takes a drink) Oh, score! I'm so hungry.
Soos (Takes a drink) Yeah, I haven't eaten anything except for part of my hat for the last three days.
Soos and Wendy (Clink cups)
Wendy Hah!
Dipper Can you guys just hold on a second? Do you see what's happening here? Don't forget this world was created by Bill. (Slaps Soos' drink away as he is about to drink from it) That punch is probably blood! And that glitter rain is probably ground up bones, or babies, or something. (Collects some glitter in his hand and drops it) Bill's using Mabel's own fantasies as some sick trap. We need to grab Mabel and get the heck out of here.
Craz Oh, Mabel? She's at the top of the tallest tower guarded by those big buff waffle guards. There's no way to get past them!
Soos Someone hand me some syrup. (Jumps on a guard from behind and starts to eat him)
Guard Aaah! It's happening! The moment we've trained for!
Guard 2 Oh, don't worry, man! I've got ya- (Screams as face is punched out by Wendy)
Wendy It's now or never, guys!
Cut to the inside of the tower, where several animals are frolicking.
Dipper, Soos and Wendy (Punch open the doors)
Dipper This is a rescue! Everyone hit the deck!
Soos (Picks up one of the animals and throws it, then follows Dipper and Wendy up the stairs) Hang in there, Mabel!
Dipper, Soos and Wendy (Burst through the doors to the bedroom)
Dipper There she is! Soos! Grab her! Wendy, barricade the door!
Soos (Picks up Mabel, who is sleeping) Up you go, little lady.
Mabel (Wakes up) Soos? Wendy? Dipper?
Wendy (As swords are being poked through the door) The waffles are coming back! We gotta hurry!
Mabel Uh, guys?
Dipper Don't worry, Mabel, we'll get you out of this!
Mabel But, Dipper! (Claps twice and lifts everything in front of the door off the ground. She puts everything down in order and seats Dipper, Soos and Wendy on some chairs - the guards come in and point their spears at them; she claps and they stop)
Dipper Mabel! What are you doing? We're trying to save you from this prison!
Mabel This isn't a prison! I made this world! (Claps and the lights come on) Well, I sort of woke up here. It's complicated.
Dipper What are you saying?
Mabel (Reveals a plaque that says "MAYOR MABEL") I'm saying this is my home now. And I don't want to be saved!
Bubble Bear (Flies into the window and bumps the windowpane) Sorry, Mabel.
Mabel No worries, Bubble Bear.
Commercial break.
Dipper You did what?
Mabel Look, after you said you wouldn't come back home with me at the end of the summer for your "apprenticeship," I wanted to hide in my sweater forever. But then I woke up in a place that gives me exactly what I wanted: an endless summer where I never have to grow up! Here the sun shines all day, the party never ends, and now that you guys are here, it's finally perfect!
Dipper Listen, Mabel, we're not here to party. All of this is crazy!
Mabel Ugghh. I figured you might say something like that, Dipper. That's why I prepared a backup Dipper with a more supportive attitude.
Dippy Fresh (Rides in on a skateboard) Wohoho! (High fives Mabel) Yeah! Wiggity-wiggity-what's up, dude-bros? I'm Dippy Fresh! I like skateboarding, supporting my sister, and punctuating every sentence with a high five! Hup! (Holds up hand)
Soos Oh! Don't mind if I-
Dipper (Clears throat)
Soos I'm sorry, I can't leave him hanging! Yus! (High fives Dippy Fresh)
Dipper You're dead to me, Soos.
Mabel Trust me, you guys are gonna love it here. This world always knows what you want. Sometimes even before you do! (A chinchilla drops into her arms) Apparently I wanted a chinchilla! Right again, Mabeland!
Dipper Mabel, listen to yourself. This is crazy! I'm sorry about our fight, and I'm sorry things aren't great right now but that doesn't mean you can just stay in here forever!
Dippy Fresh Hey, take a chill pill! Those grow on trees here!
Dipper YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, DIPPY FRESH!
Soos Dude, calm down; Dippy Fresh didn't do anything to you, dawg.
Dipper (Growls at Dippy Fresh)
Mabel I know it sounds too good to be true, but just give this place a chance! Mabeland knows just what you want and always provides! (Claps and Dipper, Soos and Wendy's clothes go back to normal. A flying hamburger goes up to Soos)
Soos (Bites it) Pudding center. Nice!
Wendy Uh, actually, Mabel, I'm with Dipper on this. Gravity Falls is in trouble and I really think-
Thompson (Honks horn and drives up with all the teens in a monster truck)
Thompson, Tambry, Lee and Nate Wendy!
Wendy Wha- guys? You're safe!
Lee We've got a monster truck full of fireworks, fake IDs, and pranking supplies.
Nate Wanna drive this truck to the high school and glue this plunger to the principal's head?
Wendy Yes. Yes I do. Sorry, guys, I've always wanted to do that. I'll be back in just a few minutes. (Gets in truck)
Teens (Drive away, cheering)
Dipper Wendy!?
Soos Don't worry, dude. There's nothing in this world that could break me from our mission.
A muscular man with a belt that says "PAPI" enters.
Man Soos, mijo. I have returned.
Soos Holy- whoa, whoa. Dad?
Man You don't remember what I look like, so I have the body of a pro wrestler and a face you once saw on a hot sauce bottle. I was never there for you, but in this world, I can be.
Soos You're perfect!
Dipper It's a trap! Don't go with him, Soos! No matter what he offers you!
Man (Holds up ball and baseball glove) Want to play catch?
Soos I'm sorry, dude. Even if it is all a dream, I've gotta play just one game. Hahaha! Come on, Dad! (Chases the ball his "dad" throws)
Dipper (To Mabel:) Okay, this has gone too far! You can't honestly think these fantasies are good for anyone!
Mabel You can't argue with the results: people are happy here! Does it really matter if it's real or not? For once, stop listening to your head and listen to your heart. Mabeland has something for everyone! Even you! In fact: (A door begins to open)
Dipper Nope. Not looking. Not looking. (Leaves)
Cut to the Fearamid. The demons groan.
Bill Alright, can anyone explain to me why, even with our newfound INFINITE POWER, (Lightning strikes the walls) none of us can escape the borders of this STUPID HICK TOWN?! (Sits in throne) There's some kind of force field keeping us in, but who would know how to fix it? (Holds Ford) Hmm. Maybe someone needs to come out of retirement. (Eye flashes Journal pages)
Keyhole Bill! Uh, sorry, Boss, but Gideon let the Pines family escape! They're inside Mabel's bubble as we speak!
Bill (Laughs) Buddy, Mabel's bubble is the most diabolical trap I've ever created. It would take a will of titanium not to give into its temptation. Fetch me Gideon and take the rest of the day off. Things just got a little more interesting.
Cut to Mabeland. Dipper is standing in front of a river.
Stuffed animal tree (Singing:) Bum ba bum bo I'm a stuffed animal tree...
Stuffed animals (Singing:) We're the stuffed animals teeheehee!
Dipper (Angrily throws a stone across the river; it skips while a child's giggling is heard) Ugh, even my stone skips are perfect! (Sighs) Who am I kidding? Maybe Mabel's right. It's a horror show out there. At least the air in here is breathable.
Fake Wendy Dude, you're talking to a river.
Dipper Oh, hey, Wendy, what's up? I thought you were busy wrecking the school or whatever.
Fake Wendy Yeah, that got old quick. And this music is really starting to get on my nerves. I think that stuff you said about this place is right.
Dipper Really? Well, now we just need a plan.
Fake Wendy Don't worry, you always think of something. (Throws stone, and it skips while giggles are heard, the stone explodes in the sky and a screen pops up that says "100 POINTS") You know, you're so much smarter than like everyone else. Heh. It's kinda funny. If you were older you'd be like, my dream guy.
Dipper Wait, do you really mean that?
Fake Wendy Wait a minute. In this place you can be any age you want! If we were the same age (Pulls a flower farther out of the ground so that it is as tall as the flower next to it) maybe you and me could, I don't know, actually be together.
Dipper Wait, really?!
Fake Wendy I bet, if we ask Mabel, she could do it right now! In this place it could finally be just you and me. Come on, man! Just take my hand. (Holds out hand and winks)
Dipper Wait, aaahhh this isn't real!
The fake Wendy turns into a bunch of centipedes and the sky darkens.
Dipper (Screams as it dissolved)
Stuffed animal tree You shouldn't have done that, Dippeerrrr! We're watching you.
Stuffed animals (They now each have one giant eye) THERE ARE EYES EVERYWHERE.
The sky brightens again. Sev'ral Timez rides by on a long bike.
Sev'ral Timez (Each band member one after another:) Hey, Dipper.
Stuffed animal tree (Singing:) Dup a dup dup I'm a stuffed animal treeee...
Dipper (Backs away, panting) Oh my gosh. This is crazy. Um- I'm losing my mind. We have to get out of here. We have to go back. To the real. WORLD! ("World" echoes)
The people on the streets turn to Dipper and gasp.
Mabel (Gasps)
Guards (Tackle Dipper)
Dipper Hey!
Guard Under Article Smiley Face of Exhibit Squeaky Duck, you are hereby accused of breaking our one rule: mentioning reality.
The crowd mutters.
Guard Prepare to be banished from this land FOREVER.
A portal to the real world opens.
Dipper MABEL! You're smarter than this! Bill has you hypnotized or something! Are you really gonna let them banish me?!
Mabel No! Of course not; that's my brother, guys! There's gotta be another way.
Guard Very well. If Dipper wishes to stay, he must plead his case in the ultimate trial. Of fantasy vs. reality.
Soos (Takes a bite out of the guard)
Guard Hey! Seriously?
Soos (Pointing to a stuffed rhino) It was him.
Cut to the courtroom. Soos and Wendy are sitting in the crowd. Duck-tective lands near Soos and grabs his shirt. Dipper and Mabel are sitting at a table near the front.
Dipper Seriously, Mabel? You're letting them take our argument to court?
Mabel Hey, I didn't make the rules in Mabeland.
Dipper Yes, you did! There's a tapestry of you making the rules! (Gestures to the tapestry)
Policegiraffe All rise! For the honorable Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein.
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein (Emerges from his hole in the bottom of the catscratcher and climbs to the top and bangs his squeaky mallet) Order! Order! This trial begins right meow! (Sees string hanging from ceiling and bats it) Ooh! Hahaw! Oh!
Policegiraffe (Clears throat) Judge?
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein Sorry, sorry. (Clears throat) We are here to try Dipper Pines in the case of fantasy vs. reality. (The words "FANTASY" and "REALITY" appear next to him) If Dipper wins, Mabel will return with him to the real world! But if he loses he will be banished forever! And replaced with town darling, Dippy Fresh! (Points at Dippy Fresh, who is standing next to the catscratcher) Dippy, come on out.
Dippy Fresh Flip-a-dip-dip! (Poses)
Dipper (Pounds table) I hate him. So. much!
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein The final decision will be made by a jury of your peers.
Mabel (Claps and six copies of herself appear in the jury stand)
Mabel 2 Hi, there! I love your headband!
Mabel 3 Shut your mouth, I love your headband!
Mabel 6 We're all wearing the same headband!
Jury Mabels (Laugh) HEADBANDS!
Dipper Look, Mabel, this whole thing is ridiculous. But if winning a trial is what it takes for you to come home with us, then so be it.
Mabel I'm sorry, Dipper, but I can only speak through my legal team now.
Xyler and Craz (Enter, wearing suits with the sleeves cut off)
Craz We have a doctorate degree in hunkiness!
Xyler Also criminal and international law.
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein Let's hear openin' statements.
Xyler Your honor, townsfolk, lovely ladies of the jury.
Mabel 2 Oh, he's talking about us!
Jury Mabels (Laugh)
Mabel 3 (Falls out of her seat)
Mabel 6 We're not that lovely.
Craz My case is simple: this very unrighteous dude thinks that reality is better than fantasy. (A board appears and he points at it with a stick) But reality is bogus, lame and whack. (The words "BOGUS," "LAME," AND "WHACK" appear on the board as he says them)
Dipper Objection your honor, that's conjecture.
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein Meowverruled.
Xyler I'd like to show you this "reality" that Dipper loves so much, and show you how it has wronged my client, and Dipper, their entire lives. (Takes a book titled "Mabel Memories" from a case Craz is holding) Exhibit A.
The crowd mutters.
Xyler Mabel's scrapbook. (Opens it) Second grade. October tenth. (The scene changes to a parking lot in front of Eggbert Elementary in autumn)
Dipper Photo day.
Dipper and Mabel, in second grade, are sitting in a chair with some other kids getting their picture taken.
Dipper (In flashback, sniffs) Darn allergies.
Mabel (In flashback, puts on a slap bracelet; her arm is covered with them) Boom! A million slap bracelets! I'm gonna have the best photo ever! And how d'you like my new pigtaaailllls? (Waves her head back and forth)
Kid Have fun, brat! (Puts gum in her hair)
Other kids laugh.
Mabel Ah! Gum! You ruined my hair! Dipper, what do I do?
Dipper Um, well, I, um. I don't.
Mabel (Runs away crying)
Dipper Mabel!
Craz Mabel's fantasy was having a great school photo, but reality had other plans.
Dipper (In present:) Look, that was one bad day!
Xyler One of many. February fourteenth, fourth grade. Valentine's Day.
Dipper Oh, come on, man, you can't.
Scene changes to Dipper and Mabel in fourth grade in their classroom. Mabel has a bag full of Valentine's cards.
Mabel How many valentines did you get, Dipper?
Dipper (In flashback, shakes his bag, but nothing comes out)
Fat kid Oh, hey, haha! Dipper didn't get any! Oh, man, I thought I was the class loser! Hey, everyone, Dipstick didn't get any!
Kids (Laughing and chanting:) Dipstick. Dipstick. Dipstick.
Dipper (Runs out, crying)
Fat kid (To Mabel:) I can't believe that kid's your brother.
Scene changes to the courtroom.
Dipper (In present:) Hey, what's the point of all this? That was in the past!
Xyler Is your life any better now, bro? (Mabel's Scrapbook flashes to Dipper sitting on the log by himself in Into the Bunker) Heartbreak. (Flashes to Dipper lying against the tree in Weirdmageddon Part 1) Disaster. (Flashes to Mabel yelling at Dipper in Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future) Broken promises. That's reality for you.
Craz Out there, it's nothing but heartbreak. But in here, who wants pug sundaes?! (Sundaes appear in the hands of all the Jury Mabels)
Jury Mabels (Lick the sundaes in unison)
Craz Hand me a microphone, Xyler.
Xyler (Gives him a microphone)
Craz (Drops it)
Xyler Totally righteous, bro!
Craz Are we brothers?
Xyler I don't know!
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein (Batting string) Well, I think we're ready for a verdict.
Dipper Wait! I haven't even presented my case!
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein Do you even have a case?
Dipper (Looks at Mabel, who is rocking in her chair and singing to herself, then goes up the the judge) Yes, I do, your honor. I call as a witness: Mabel Pines!
The crowd gasps.
Mabel Uh, objection?
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein I'll allow it. Us cats are famously curious. Meow meow.
Mabel (Walks up and sits in the chair while the crowd mutters)
Dipper (Sighs) Mabel, listen. I might not have all the answers. I'm not stylish (gestures to Xyler and Craz) and I'm not cool (gestures to Dippy Fresh, who is crowdsurfing) and I can't make pugs appear out of thin air. (Snaps fingers)
Mabel 4 Booo!
Mabel 3 What, come on!
Mabel 7 GUILTY!
Dipper But I know one thing well, and that's you. And I know that although you might act like it, you don't wanna be in this fantasy world.
Mabel Uh, pffsh, yeah right.
Dipper You're scared. Of growing up. And who could blame you; I'm scared, too.
Mabel Uh, (covers ears) LALALALALALA I'M NOT LISTENING! GUARDS! (Claps) The FINGERS! (The guards stick foam fingers in her ears)
Dipper Look, real life stinks sometimes, okay, I'm not gonna lie. But there's a better way to get through it than denial, and that's with help from people who care about you. It's how we've gotten through our whole lives. Just look. (Scene changes to the photo day after Mabel got gum in her hair; in flashback:) Mabel! I figured out a way to fix your photo!
Mabel (In flashback:) What? You have a wig?
Dipper No! But, I have a razor! (Shaves a line down his head)
Mabel Haha! You're crazy! (Takes the razor and shaves the part of her hair with gum in it)
Dipper and Mabel (Laugh and pose for picture) Haaa!
Mabel (In present, takes the foam fingers away from her ears)
Dipper (Scene changes to Dipper in the closet after he got no Valentines)
Mabel (In flashback, slides a bunch of valentines taped into a heart that says "For My Favorite Brother" under the door)
Dipper (Scene changes back to courtroom, in present:) We've always been there for each other. (Flashes the scrapbook to Dipper giving Mabel a Band-Aid in Summerween, then to them fist-bumping in Sock Opera, then to Mabel lowering them down from the cliff with her grappling hook in Gideon Rises) Mabel, I thought you were living a fantasy, but look at me! I actually thought I was gonna stay here and be Ford's apprentice! Spend my entire teens cooped up in a basement with a labcoat? How ridiculous is that? I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but whatever it is, you don't have to fear because we'll do it together. I'm not taking Ford's apprenticeship. We've traveled to Heck and back to get you and we're goin' back together. Leave this fantasy world. Let's beat Bill and grow up together.
Crowd mutters.
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein ORDER! ORDER! (Bangs mallet) ORDER IN THE COURT! DANG IT why is this hammer squeaky?!
Mabel You mean it? You're really coming home with me?
Dipper Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. Awkward sibling hug?
Crowd shrieks.
Blue Bird Just don't do it!
Craz DON'T DO IT!
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein You do this and it's all over!
Mabel Sincere sibling hug. (Hugs Dipper)
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein DON'T DO THE PATS!
Dipper and Mabel (Pat each other) Pat pat. (A ripple comes from their spot, blowing Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein's wig away and one of the benches falls over. All of the jurors disappear)
Mabel (Rubs eyes) Aw, man, I never noticed how bright this place is, ugh! Have I actually been listening to the same song for an entire week?
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein (Meows in a distressed manner)
Mabel Whoa, time to calm you down. (Claps twice) Uh, why isn't this working? (Claps)
Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face-Shwartstein Because your reign over this land is OVER. (Splits open and becomes a pile of yarn)
The crowd turns gray and their eyes glow red.
Xyler and Craz (Hug each other and yell)
Mabel We gotta get out of here!
Dipper Soos! Wendy! Paradise is canceled!
The humans run away as the whole world turns gray.
Mabel Everyone get on!
They get on Waddles, who is the size of an elephant.
Mabel (Slaps him and he wakes up) Take us to freedom, Giant Waddles! Yah!
Waddles (Runs away)
Mabel Alright, guys, are you ready for this? (Grabs a giant knitting needle) Sorry, Mabeland. It's time to burst your BUBBLE! (As Waddles jumps, she breaks the bubble with the needle; she is lying on the ground of the cliff) Ugh. You all good, everyone good?
Waddles (Shrinks back to normal size)
Everyone is wearing the clothing they were wearing before.
Dipper, Soos and Wendy (Hug her)
Soos We've missed you, Mabel.
Mabel Hey, Dipper? I appreciate what you said back there, but if you want to take Ford's apprenticeship, I won't get in your way.
Dipper Psh. And miss out on your awkward teen years? You wish. (Laughs)
Mabel (Laughs) Man, I went nuts back there. I mean come on. The real world can't be that bad, right? (Looks the other way and sees Gompers is still giant and the Fearamid) Oh boy.
Cut to everyone at ground level.
Mabel Where is everyone?
Wendy The town's deserted.
Soos Did Bill already win?
Dipper Come on, guys. Let's see if we can still go hide out in the Shack.
Cut to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper Yes! It's in shambles! Just like we left it.
Wendy Oh, man, this is the first time I've ever felt happy going to work.
Mabel (As they are running to it) Hello, house. Hello, porch. Hello, wads of gum I left stuck to the couch.
Dipper (Reaches for the handle, then stops when he hear scuffling) Wait, what was that? Shh. (Picks up a golf club)
Wendy (Aims crossbow)
Soos (Pounds fist)
Mabel (Holds up grappling hook)
Soos Let's get 'em, dudes.
Dipper (Kicks open the door)
Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy (Run in) Yaaahh!!
Celestabellebethabelle, Chutzpar, Bats Biker, Woodpecker guy, Candy, Stan Pines, Grenda, Sheriff Blubs, Pacifica Northwest, Old Man McGucket and some Gnomes Yaaaahhhh!!
Dipper and Mabel Stan?
Stan Kids?
Multi-Bear (Flushes toilet and comes out with a cardboard roll) Just so everyone knows, we're out of toilet paper. Did I miss something?
Cut to end credits. Xyler and Craz emerge from a pile of confetti.
Xyler Wow! We survived!
Craz Where are we?
Xyler and Craz (Sit on a bench)
Xyler Are we real? Is this reality? Jean-Paul Sartre postulated that every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.
Craz Totally righteous, bro.
Xyler I know!

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